‘Blame Adam’: B.C. alleged sexual assault victim says she shares to protect others – BC | Globalnews.ca
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Warning: This story deals with disturbing subject matter that may upset and trigger some readers. Discretion is advised.
For more than a decade on and off, Narcotics Anonymous has been Tara’s safe place.
Her addiction began in her teenage years, and as a young adult, the Metro Vancouver resident says she struggled in an abusive relationship that resulted in frequent visits from police. She had developed what she describes as an “erratic” personality, inseparable from her mental health struggles.
Tara — not her real name — says NA and its 12-step program returned “freedom” to her life and ultimately saved it. She found her “groove,” and a “new community of people were who like-minded” and supported each other in rebuilding their lives.
When she returned to NA after a relapse in 2012, she met Vancouver’s Adam Haber. She says making his acquaintance would change her life too.
“I didn’t like going and sitting next to him. I didn’t like going and having conversations with him,” Tara tells Global News.
“He kind of always had this creepy aura about him where he would talk to me or say inappropriate things, but I sort of sluffed them off as whatever.”
More than a decade later, Haber was arrested and charged with three counts of sexual assault over alleged offences in 2012 and 2013 involving three complainants. Announcing the charges in May 2023, New Westminster police said 11 alleged victims had come forward, but they believed more were out there.
Prior to the police investigation, Haber had worked as an independent contractor for the Last Door Recovery Centre in New Westminster. He was abruptly fired in January when management learned of the allegations against him.
While Tara’s experiences did not lead to any of the charges against Haber, she says he sexually assaulted her as well.
As his next court date approaches, she says she’s sharing her story to renew the focus on Haber, rather than point fingers of blame at the lifesaving treatment centres she claims he “exploited” to find and hurt women who needed support.
“We’re a vulnerable community,” Tara explains, sitting on the bleachers at a Metro Vancouver park. “There’s different ways to hurt people in this community.
“There’s scams, there’s money, there’s ways to manipulate in so many different ways, so it just makes me more aware and committed to making sure that people, especially newcomers, feel safe.”
None of the allegations against Haber have been proven and he has not pleaded guilty to any offence. His lawyer, Matthew Nathanson, reiterates that his client faces only three charges, despite whatever statements are made in public.
“He is presumed to be innocent of all of those charges and disputes those charges. We will be defending him in court, not in the media,” Nathanson tells Global News, standing outside the courthouses in downtown Vancouver.
“But his trial will not occur for many months, and in the meantime, unfortunately, some parties have seen fit to make public statements — public statements that appear to be designed to influence the legal process and potentially poison the jury pool.
“I have two things to say to those people: First, there is no qualified privilege over statements made outside of court, and second, the law of defamation is a powerful, powerful thing.”
With the summer sun beaming down on her in an open field, Tara describes Haber as a likable guy who was “good at being friendly and being nice.”
Some in the recovery community looked up to him, she adds. She believes he benefitted from a “perceived trust” that those who get clean and sober have done “the work to better themselves.”
Haber was always offering to help others with food, accommodation or cash, Tara recalls. Despite her discomfort with him, she says she felt “a lot of pressure to be friends with him because he’s part of the community.”
In April 2019, Tara says she asked Haber to be her personal trainer twice a week at the Canada Games Pool in New Westminster, extending their acquaintance outside of NA.
At that time, Haber was also a contracted fitness instructor for the Last Door Recovery Society. A statement on Last Door’s website, says he provided group classes to mostly male clients at a public facility, averaging four hours a week.
For their first four sessions together, Tara says Haber made “sexual advances through his words,” but on the fifth, alleges he became physical.
“He grabbed my butt and was like, shaking it. I pushed his hand away, I told him to stop,” she recalls, her voice unwavering.
“Then he grabbed my breast when I was working out, and then when I was on one of the (pieces of) equipment where I was sitting down … he like, pushed his genitalia into my back.”
Tara says it didn’t even shock her, given “all of things he’s said to me over the years — ‘Oh, you’re really hot,’ or ‘Oh, we should be friends with benefits.’”
She says she switched gyms afterward and never paid Haber for the final session. Global News has seen screenshots of electronic payments made to Haber for the first four classes at a price of $40 each.
Tara says she did not initially report what happened to police because of engrained distrust of law enforcement from her youth and the “shame attached to it.” She continued to go to their NA meetings, she adds, and be “cordial” with Haber.
“It was very uncomfortable seeing him in meetings after,” she recalls.
The Last Door Recovery Centre would not identify the public fitness centre where Haber offered sessions under its employ or offer any comment beyond the statement on its website.
“Given the upcoming court date and out of respect for the alleged victims we do not feel it would be appropriate to comment any further at this point in time,” the recovery centre said in an email to Global News.
“We trust in the ability of the judicial system to carry out its duties impartially and effectively.”
Its online statement adds that any of Haber’s alleged offences took place before it contracted him in December 2017. Last Door says it first learned of allegations against him on Jan. 19 this year, fired him “without notice or proven cause” the very next day, and filed a police report on Jan. 30.
That month, New Westminster police launched their investigation. It was shortly after a private Facebook group called ‘Stop Adam H’ had formed online and people began to share allegations about experiences with Haber, both at Last Door and another treatment and recovery program called Westminster House Society.
While Tara is not a member of the Facebook group, she says it prompted her to file her own police report at the beginning of this year, feeling a “responsibility” to hold Haber accountable.
She says he had recently sent her a series of problematic text messages that to her mind, proved he hadn’t changed since their time at the gym in 2019. Global News has viewed the texts on Tara’s phone.
“I didn’t feel heard,” she says, referring to comments made in the 2022 thread. “It really was kind of a slap in the face.”
In messages sent between Dec. 2 and 5, a contact she claims is Haber suggested they and Tara could still have “fun as friends,” told her not to “get all weird,” and when she declined the advances, asked her what about them she was “not attracted too (sic).” The conversation shows Tara sent several messages explaining why she wasn’t interested in a sexual or romantic relationship, but the sender insists she couldn’t be more “safe” with them.
The sender made explicit comments about her appearance, and on Dec. 4, when asked whether he they had ever made her feel uncomfortable, she responded: “Sometimes your comments that insinuate sexual contact make me feel uncomfortable if I’m being honest.”
The sender wrote back: “In my defense, have you seen you?”
Haber’s lawyer, Nathanson, would not comment on the texts.
New Westminster police have not provided any details on the circumstances of the alleged sexual assaults that led to charges against Haber. Citing a publication ban, the force said it could not discuss any specific alleged victim or their allegations.
Meanwhile, Tara says she hopes Haber goes to jail.
“I want him to know and understand the long-term trauma that this case has caused not only to the women involved, but also to the community, to the family.”
Tara says she believes her may experience was different from other alleged victims because she wasn’t as vulnerable as they may have been — she was no longer a young adult when the alleged assault occurred, had clean time under her belt and had some confidence and a set of boundaries.
“I think an entire community discounted him as just being Adam, and nobody really talked about it with each other,” Tara explains.
The British Columbia Region of Narcotics Anonymous did not respond to a request to comment on this story, nor did Westminster House Society.
Tara has never accessed programs at either Last Door or Westminster House Society and says she doesn’t feel represented in media coverage of the case. To date, much of the conversation has focused on the two recovery centres, what they knew, when they knew it and how they responded afterward.
She also expressed concerned that the Stop Adam H Facebook group has been infiltrated by people not connected to the issues, some of whom have appropriated the conversation from alleged victims.
“It deflects from the real problem here, which is a man who — for over a decade — used his position as a trainer, used his position as a building manager, used his position in a program that is vulnerable,” she claims.
“I get that people want to blame someone. Blame Adam.”
Haber’s next court date is scheduled Wednesday at the New Westminster Law Courts.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, support is available:
- The Department of Justice Victim Services Directory includes a list of support services in your area.
- Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (toll-free) Available 24/7 or Text CONNECT 686868
Anyone in need of addictions support can call 778-945-7619 to speak with an addiction medicine specialist, 24/7.
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