Dear Abby: New doctor had me keep clothes on at exam, and I’m confused

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in my 50s. A few months ago, I had a routine doctor’s appointment, with a new primary care physician. I intended the appointment to be a complete, regular physical. I don’t (thankfully) have any major physical health issues that I know of. But I was always taught it is wise to have periodic physical exams, in case there is a less obvious medical issue, as well as get to know one’s doctor.

I went for the physical exam. I was not asked to undress as I have been with all my previous doctors. The doctor seemed nice, but I found it strange that I wasn’t examined physically. I find it hard to understand how a doctor could properly examine me without me undressing. The doctor should be used to seeing bodies, and I cannot understand why the doctor or staff were reluctant to ask me to undress.

I found this all very confusing. Perhaps there was some miscommunication? I don’t know if this is unusual, temporary or a new normal that I haven’t heard about. Next time, should I be more clear about wanting to be examined thoroughly, or should I change doctors? — COVERED UP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR COVERED UP: Contact the doctor, explain that in the past you have always had a complete physical which involved you disrobing and ask why it didn’t happen during your last visit. If the answer you receive is unsatisfactory, change doctors.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years. We are active in our church. I am very involved with our women’s ministry, but my husband has an issue with our leader, “Nedra.” Nedra has bad-mouthed my husband to my face. I went to my pastor with the issue, and I am, basically, waiting on God to fix it.

Our WM team meets multiple times a week, which means I leave my husband home alone for dinner on those nights. (I always make sure he has dinner when I’m not home.) Our meetings can go on for an hour and a half to two hours, and my husband is always upset when I get home from them.

I don’t know what to do. He’s not upset that I’m going to the meetings; he’s upset at how long they last. Nedra doesn’t like him, and he doesn’t like her, especially since he knows what she said about him. I feel stuck in the middle. What do I do? — LADY OF FAITH IN TEXAS

DEAR LADY: If these meetings occur more than twice a week, your husband may have a point. Whether he and Nedra like each other is beside the point, unless what he resents is that you are with that “witch.” He may feel it encroaches on time you should be spending together. It’s time you and your husband have a calm discussion about the frequency and length of those meetings so an acceptable compromise can be reached. Start now.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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