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A woman has been cheered online after sharing in a social media post that she’s attempting to prevent her sister from moving back in with her by drafting up a set of house rules that she knows she won’t be able to follow.
Despite the woman’s harsh tactics, hundreds of internet users have backed the methods she’d shared on Reddit.
“I have two older sisters, Chloe and Demi,” the 23-year-old woman wrote. “Demi is married and has a son, she recently found out that she’s pregnant with her second child. Chloe is autistic, she used to live with me, but I had enough after I was doing everything, and all she did was watch movies on her tablet all day, so I kicked her out. Demi had a spare room, so Chloe moved in.”
The woman went on to share that since 31-year-old Demi found out she was expecting another child, she’d made arrangements for Chloe to move back into the Redditor’s home to make space for her growing family. The poster quickly drafted up a list of house rules that she knew would keep Chloe, 29, from moving in.
“The rules are as follows: No eating in your bedroom. Chloe must keep one hour aside every day just to clean her bedroom. Chloe must make her bed every morning. Chloe must have a job with a minimum hours of 16 per week and must have kept that job for at least three months,” she wrote.
The Redditor revealed in the post that her elder sister, Demi was horrified by the new rules, arguing that there’s no way Chloe would be able to stick to them.
Their parents are deceased, and Chloe is unable to live on her own. She is on a five-year-long waiting list for an assisted living facility, but until then, it’s up to the sisters to take care of her, according to the Redditor.
“It appears to me that Chloe is taking either a passive role or a passive-aggressive role in the dynamic. We also have to keep in mind that where she is on the autism spectrum determines what she is truly capable of,” Támara Hill, a licensed therapist and clinical psychologist specializing in adolescent behavioral and mood disorders, told Newsweek.
“There is a possibility that she isn’t fully processing the rules and expectations which may require Demi to give her one thing to do a day, or somehow set the expectation of doing one thing a day. Perhaps she is suffering from sensory overload,” Hill, who is also a board-certified clinical trauma therapist said.
“The other thing to consider is that Chloe may need something to motivate her to complete these tasks,” Hill said. “Most people respond well to positive reinforcement where a reward is obtained for engaging in a desired behavior. An assisted living facility may provide lots of incentives that can motivate her to care for herself and her environment better.”
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Hill also suggests the woman look into acquiring mobile behavior specialists or in-home nurses who can help Chloe develop goals she will maintain while awaiting space in an assisted living facility.
What Do the Comments Say?
Since it was shared to the “Am I The A******” subreddit on September 1 by u/Puzzleheaded-Log4884, the post has been upvoted by 95 percent of the users who engaged with it and commented on more than 700 times.
“Everything else Chloe can do will cost money, school costs money, loitering is illegal, hanging out at coffee shops and so on all cost money. It’s even more expensive if Chloe needs supervision. If Chloe has no money, [her sister] will be expected to pay,” one user wrote.
“Additionally, I don’t blame her for saying ‘I need to be compensated for the cost of you living here.’ Chloe’s unfortunate circumstances don’t make her sister’s requirement a jerk move. She is simply not required to subsidize her disabled sister,” they added.
“Both sisters should be researching options for Chloe that do not leave the woman with all the mental load of keeping up with Chloe’s needs,” shared a different user.
A few users have offered the Redditor some advice and support in the comment section.
“I would suggest that you alter this requirement to volunteer work also. Make it so that she can either get a job or volunteer,” one TikToker wrote.
“These are things she can and should work towards as goals, not expectations. You should also contact your local social services and see if her impending homelessness opens any resources for her,” another person commented.
A different commenter asked: “My first thought finishing reading this was what is Chloe actually capable of? ‘Autistic’ covers a lot of ground for support needs and abilities. Are you willing to actually help your sister be able to hit those targets?”
Newsweek’s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
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